Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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