Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize