Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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