Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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