I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
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he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
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Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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