You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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