I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize