I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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