Soap is not a condiment
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize