C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize