Soap is not a condiment
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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