got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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