And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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