my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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