While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize