Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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