the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
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