I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize