so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize