You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
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