Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize