I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize