woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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