Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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