Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize