OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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