Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize