I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
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he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
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I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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