We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize