i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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