We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize