I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize