this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
There's always time for handjobs
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize