Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
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You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
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I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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