I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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