NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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