This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
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he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
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But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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