if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize