I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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