Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm just crazy horny about you
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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