I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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