He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Is it penis luge time yet?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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