if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Panties = found
Randomize