Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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