i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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