I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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