Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
People in love make me want to vomit
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love makes seman taste better
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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