Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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