So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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