Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
The convent might be a nice break from real life
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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